So, I've worn out all my size 16 pants. I went to the mall to buy another pair but with my long legs I could not get a pair.
So.... I've squeezed myself into my size 14's that I abandoned on the way up the scale some time before summer.
Should be motivation to lose some more weight. They are very tight at the waist! Must set dryer to low. hahahaha.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Getting close to my Lowest Weight in 2009
Today I saw 204 on the scale. (down a pound from earlier this week)
I started at 218 at the beginning of October.
I am in a dangerous place with a lot of extra stress that I don't normally have. (mom hospitalization)
However I am hanging in so far.
Really glad I am enrolled in the weight loss program that I am right now.
It is keeping me in line.
Weekly weigh in with same consultant is great too.
Even though sometimes I would like to wring his neck. :)
Also my mom's health has really put the fear into me.
I do not want that to be me in 24 years. No WAY!
I started out the year at 203 (and at the time I though that was bad then went 15 pounds higher after that).
First goal is 199. (below 200 pounds obviously)
Then 183 (lowest 2008 weight)
Then 168 (lowest 2002 weight)
Then hopefully 158 or whatever I weigh with 25-ish % body fat and size 10 pants.
Right now even though I've lost 14 pounds I'm still at 42% body fat (down from 44). Hopefully that doesn't mean I'm losing muscle or some such crap. 14 pounds lost = 6.4% of my body weight. It seems body fat percentage loss does not track with body weight loss. I never really get that. The only thing that makes sense is muscle loss though I am doing some strength training. Maybe I need to do more.
I started at 218 at the beginning of October.
I am in a dangerous place with a lot of extra stress that I don't normally have. (mom hospitalization)
However I am hanging in so far.
Really glad I am enrolled in the weight loss program that I am right now.
It is keeping me in line.
Weekly weigh in with same consultant is great too.
Even though sometimes I would like to wring his neck. :)
Also my mom's health has really put the fear into me.
I do not want that to be me in 24 years. No WAY!
I started out the year at 203 (and at the time I though that was bad then went 15 pounds higher after that).
First goal is 199. (below 200 pounds obviously)
Then 183 (lowest 2008 weight)
Then 168 (lowest 2002 weight)
Then hopefully 158 or whatever I weigh with 25-ish % body fat and size 10 pants.
Right now even though I've lost 14 pounds I'm still at 42% body fat (down from 44). Hopefully that doesn't mean I'm losing muscle or some such crap. 14 pounds lost = 6.4% of my body weight. It seems body fat percentage loss does not track with body weight loss. I never really get that. The only thing that makes sense is muscle loss though I am doing some strength training. Maybe I need to do more.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Nov 22, 2009
AM at home weight: 206
Total down: 12 pounds from start.
Have basically been the same for 3 weeks. Actually went up 1.5 pounds from there then back down again.
Got off track when I went for weekend away the first weekend in November. Then had a hard time getting back to it. Then have not been following 'plan' for the past week with Mom being in hospital. At the same time, I have not been over eating or eating junk either so therefore the maintain. I am kind of happy with that actually. I could have easily started hitting the drive thru at this time since I am quite stressed and my schedule is shot to hell.
Trying to keep on track in the midst of all this stuff (mom emergency heart surgery in 3 days from now) but basically if I maintain I am OK with that.
I think it might get more stressful once she is out of the hospital actually.
Thinking positive: 6 pounds to go until 199.9.
Total down: 12 pounds from start.
Have basically been the same for 3 weeks. Actually went up 1.5 pounds from there then back down again.
Got off track when I went for weekend away the first weekend in November. Then had a hard time getting back to it. Then have not been following 'plan' for the past week with Mom being in hospital. At the same time, I have not been over eating or eating junk either so therefore the maintain. I am kind of happy with that actually. I could have easily started hitting the drive thru at this time since I am quite stressed and my schedule is shot to hell.
Trying to keep on track in the midst of all this stuff (mom emergency heart surgery in 3 days from now) but basically if I maintain I am OK with that.
I think it might get more stressful once she is out of the hospital actually.
Thinking positive: 6 pounds to go until 199.9.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Week 3 - Official Weigh in.
I already put this out there but here is my official weigh in...
Total down: 10.5
Down this week: 3.75
Weigh In Stats at Consultant:
Week 3: 209.5 - Oct. 26, 2009
Week 2: 213.25
Week 1: 216
Start : 220 - Oct 5, 2009
To be fair I was sick at the end of this week. I did not feel like eating, had a sore throat etc. I was also probably dehydrated so I think that is what made this week's loss so high. Next week's number won't be this high I'm sure! Still, its all good!
Total down: 10.5
Down this week: 3.75
Weigh In Stats at Consultant:
Week 3: 209.5 - Oct. 26, 2009
Week 2: 213.25
Week 1: 216
Start : 220 - Oct 5, 2009
To be fair I was sick at the end of this week. I did not feel like eating, had a sore throat etc. I was also probably dehydrated so I think that is what made this week's loss so high. Next week's number won't be this high I'm sure! Still, its all good!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Don't want to jinx it but...
Down 10 pounds in 2.5 weeks.
Praying to hold on to the will power and determination.
Praying to hold on to the will power and determination.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Amazing myself
So, on my scale at home I lost 6 pounds my first week of my new program. Officially though I only lost 5 because I weighed myself at home on Monday (7 days after starting) but I had to weigh in on Tuesday, having had a family turkey dinner on Monday night . I didn't really eat a lot at TG dinner, but whatever. All the more simple to have a nicer loss next week!
I am pretty impressed with how organized I have become with respect to my food. It is 7:30pm and not only did I make dinner tonight, but I cooked chicken sausages for the kids for tomorrow night, and a soup that I can have for lunch for the next few days.
This is working!
PS. One of the things I am liking best about this program is that they have given me some simple recipes that even me, the non-cook can make easily and quickly. Yessssssssss!
I am pretty impressed with how organized I have become with respect to my food. It is 7:30pm and not only did I make dinner tonight, but I cooked chicken sausages for the kids for tomorrow night, and a soup that I can have for lunch for the next few days.
This is working!
PS. One of the things I am liking best about this program is that they have given me some simple recipes that even me, the non-cook can make easily and quickly. Yessssssssss!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wednesday October 7th, 2009
So, last post I said things were going good. I was down to 213. Well, along came the month of September and my comittment waned. (unfortunately totally predictable) It seems that I cannot be left to my own devices and on October 1st I was back up to the previous month's weight of 218..
I went with my friend Hazel to see a nutrition consultant. I watched what went on and decided to join myself. I started on Monday.
On Monday I weighed myelf with my clothes on (not my usual practice) and I was *gasp* 220. At the place I weighed with my shoes on and I was 221. YIKES!!! New worst ever! However that 221 probably translated to about 218 first thing in the morning in my birthday suit which is where I have been hovering for the past two months.
So, I have committed to this new eating plan for 6 months. That is a long time for me. I know about the 12 week mark things are going to get shakey. But maybe if I am seeing lots of progress it will not be as hard as I anticipate.
The first day on this plan was way harder than I thought it would be. I knew my body was addicted to food but I didn't know *how* addicted it was. I am on the third day not and it is not seeming as hard. The hardest part for me is eating the amount of veggies that they want me to eat (2.5 cups at both lunch and dinner) and eating only protein and veggies for dinner. This is extreme but it is all logical except I do hope I get to eat carbs at dinner again eventually. They limit fat and refined carbs. They promote mostly lean protein and vegetables. Not rocket science. But not how I have eaten for the last 37 years.
The reason I joined up with these people is to train my body to eat more whole foods. To have accountability. To force me "on track" and by staying there for 6 months hopefully there will be more chances of it becoming a life time thing. I guess in a way I have gone to food rehab.
I might update this blog more. We'll see.
Right now I am not having trouble sticking to the food. I am not having cravings and my will power is high. Gotta love the beginning of "new plans".
In the back of my mind I hear trboh saying pick a plan, any plan, just stick with your plan and don't change it. This is my plan and I am sticking.
I went with my friend Hazel to see a nutrition consultant. I watched what went on and decided to join myself. I started on Monday.
On Monday I weighed myelf with my clothes on (not my usual practice) and I was *gasp* 220. At the place I weighed with my shoes on and I was 221. YIKES!!! New worst ever! However that 221 probably translated to about 218 first thing in the morning in my birthday suit which is where I have been hovering for the past two months.
So, I have committed to this new eating plan for 6 months. That is a long time for me. I know about the 12 week mark things are going to get shakey. But maybe if I am seeing lots of progress it will not be as hard as I anticipate.
The first day on this plan was way harder than I thought it would be. I knew my body was addicted to food but I didn't know *how* addicted it was. I am on the third day not and it is not seeming as hard. The hardest part for me is eating the amount of veggies that they want me to eat (2.5 cups at both lunch and dinner) and eating only protein and veggies for dinner. This is extreme but it is all logical except I do hope I get to eat carbs at dinner again eventually. They limit fat and refined carbs. They promote mostly lean protein and vegetables. Not rocket science. But not how I have eaten for the last 37 years.
The reason I joined up with these people is to train my body to eat more whole foods. To have accountability. To force me "on track" and by staying there for 6 months hopefully there will be more chances of it becoming a life time thing. I guess in a way I have gone to food rehab.
I might update this blog more. We'll see.
Right now I am not having trouble sticking to the food. I am not having cravings and my will power is high. Gotta love the beginning of "new plans".
In the back of my mind I hear trboh saying pick a plan, any plan, just stick with your plan and don't change it. This is my plan and I am sticking.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
September 1, 2009
So, things are going good here.
I have decided to do it on my own for now.
I have been doing very well with my journalling and have been on track for about a week and a half now.
If there is such a thing I have detoxed myself from the junk.
I started 'trying' at the top of the month but didn't really get it right until last week.
Last month: 216
This month: 213
So not stellar progress but progress all the same.
I have decided to do it on my own for now.
I have been doing very well with my journalling and have been on track for about a week and a half now.
If there is such a thing I have detoxed myself from the junk.
I started 'trying' at the top of the month but didn't really get it right until last week.
Last month: 216
This month: 213
So not stellar progress but progress all the same.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
A small "hi" to this blog
OK, I have lots of blogs. Some of them are pretty much abandoned. Only on 2 of them am I really consistent with actually posting in.
Anyways.... this one is supposed to be my "Dear Diary, this is how the scale is going" that I have tucked away, that not too many people know about and that I don't have any of my other blogs linked to anymore.
Apparently though 7 people are subscribed to it in Google Reader (one of them being me). So hello 6 people, and other random people that may drop by.
I have been hiding out from this blog but I feel like I might be safely enough on solid ground to make a post.
I have been trying to get my ducks in a row regarding eating for a while. Mostly half heartedly and my determination generally not lasting more than 48 hours.
I wonder if being addicted to alcohol or some drug is anything like being an over eater? I saw my stepbrother this summer and he had slimmed down quit a bit but was still smoking. He said he knew he should quit (his dad died last year at 62 of lung cancer) but instead of bugging him about it I said "I can understand, you are addicted to it, and I am addicted to food". That led him to ask "What food?" but I tried to explain that it was not that I was addicted to any one food in particular. I just really like eating and the things I like most are always high in calories, fat, sugar and salt. If I really liked eating steamed vegetables that would probably be OK but that's not what I love to eat.
Is it harder to kick the habit of overeating because you can't go cold turkey on food? Well, some people try (very low calorie liquid diets for example) but show me one person who has lost 100 pounds doing that and kept it off. OK, I can actually think of one person who lost 100 pounds by basically being anorexic and has kept it off but for over a year but Anorexia is not the answer! Right?
Anyways.... currently I have kicked the habit of over eating, for now. However, I can get jump started back into over eating very easily and I will have to fight that forever. FOREVER! (begin pity party here)
So, after all this rambling here comes the disclosure.
At the beginning of August was my wakeup call. That electronic contraption in my bathroom read 216. I am 5 foot 9 so that is a BMI of 31.9
I notice that only 2 posts ago I said I was on track too. That was May. So, how long will I stay on track? That is the question.
No time for dicking around here. I am going to be 40 in just over 2 years. Having extra fat right now is a ticking time bomb as far as cancer, diabetes, heart disease. Given I have a very strong history of the last 2, I really should not be screwing around with this.
I will report back the first of each month. On September 1st my weight will be lower than 216. Failure is not an option.
DO YOU HEAR ME *future self*? Stop this nonsense now. NOW! No more screwing around. Period.
Anyways.... this one is supposed to be my "Dear Diary, this is how the scale is going" that I have tucked away, that not too many people know about and that I don't have any of my other blogs linked to anymore.
Apparently though 7 people are subscribed to it in Google Reader (one of them being me). So hello 6 people, and other random people that may drop by.
I have been hiding out from this blog but I feel like I might be safely enough on solid ground to make a post.
I have been trying to get my ducks in a row regarding eating for a while. Mostly half heartedly and my determination generally not lasting more than 48 hours.
I wonder if being addicted to alcohol or some drug is anything like being an over eater? I saw my stepbrother this summer and he had slimmed down quit a bit but was still smoking. He said he knew he should quit (his dad died last year at 62 of lung cancer) but instead of bugging him about it I said "I can understand, you are addicted to it, and I am addicted to food". That led him to ask "What food?" but I tried to explain that it was not that I was addicted to any one food in particular. I just really like eating and the things I like most are always high in calories, fat, sugar and salt. If I really liked eating steamed vegetables that would probably be OK but that's not what I love to eat.
Is it harder to kick the habit of overeating because you can't go cold turkey on food? Well, some people try (very low calorie liquid diets for example) but show me one person who has lost 100 pounds doing that and kept it off. OK, I can actually think of one person who lost 100 pounds by basically being anorexic and has kept it off but for over a year but Anorexia is not the answer! Right?
Anyways.... currently I have kicked the habit of over eating, for now. However, I can get jump started back into over eating very easily and I will have to fight that forever. FOREVER! (begin pity party here)
So, after all this rambling here comes the disclosure.
At the beginning of August was my wakeup call. That electronic contraption in my bathroom read 216. I am 5 foot 9 so that is a BMI of 31.9
I notice that only 2 posts ago I said I was on track too. That was May. So, how long will I stay on track? That is the question.
No time for dicking around here. I am going to be 40 in just over 2 years. Having extra fat right now is a ticking time bomb as far as cancer, diabetes, heart disease. Given I have a very strong history of the last 2, I really should not be screwing around with this.
I will report back the first of each month. On September 1st my weight will be lower than 216. Failure is not an option.
DO YOU HEAR ME *future self*? Stop this nonsense now. NOW! No more screwing around. Period.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Clinging
Clinging to the hope that I can get a hold of myself. I feel strong today but how will I feel tomorrow.
I weighed myself on Monday and was utterly shocked. Not sure why I thought I was invincible but clearly I am not.
I have never seen this number on my scale. Ever!
I don't even want to share it here.
Anyways... I am clinging to hope. Step 1 is to stop gaining.
I weighed myself on Monday and was utterly shocked. Not sure why I thought I was invincible but clearly I am not.
I have never seen this number on my scale. Ever!
I don't even want to share it here.
Anyways... I am clinging to hope. Step 1 is to stop gaining.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
On a Small Roll
Not long ago I saw my worst non-pregnant weight number on the scale since 2000. Not good.
Somehow I have managed to get myself onto a small roll with my eating. Today was the fourth day of logging what I eat and staying under 2000 calories. Just need to keep going.
It is weird to feel hunger pain. Seriously. I have not felt hunger in a looooong time. I am good will power wise right now. I wonder what gets me un-good. I wonder how to avoid that.
There are definitely certain days out of each set of 28 (or so) days that I get totally wacked with my eating. I need to identify what days those are and nip them in the bud. Unfortunately this time I forgot to keep track of what day I'm at. I will try to pay attention to when the crazyiness starts though.
I've started writing down my food in a small paper journal that I'm carrying around in my purse. I've used this journal before. There is an entry in it near the front for Friday May 30th, 2008. Weight: 186. BF: 37%. I remember that I was not at all happy to be weighing in the high 180s. Guess what? A year later the scale reads 206 pounds and 43% bf. Holy schnickeys! Put on 20 pounds in a year. Fortunately 208 pounds on the scale is red alert territory and I have managed to put the brakes on.
Baby steps. I will promise to do a happy dance when my weight starts with a 19 again.
Boy do I ever hate starting over. Boy do I ever wish that I would not do this to myself again. Surrender to stress, surrender to hibernating inside my house in winter. Surrender to the urge to eat junk.
I am scared though. Scared because I know even if I get down to a weight that I feel happy with I will know that the unhealthy heavy me will be forever lurking and waiting in the wings for her next opportunity to come out.
I am lucky though. I have supportive friends and a supportive husband. I can do this.
Somehow I have managed to get myself onto a small roll with my eating. Today was the fourth day of logging what I eat and staying under 2000 calories. Just need to keep going.
It is weird to feel hunger pain. Seriously. I have not felt hunger in a looooong time. I am good will power wise right now. I wonder what gets me un-good. I wonder how to avoid that.
There are definitely certain days out of each set of 28 (or so) days that I get totally wacked with my eating. I need to identify what days those are and nip them in the bud. Unfortunately this time I forgot to keep track of what day I'm at. I will try to pay attention to when the crazyiness starts though.
I've started writing down my food in a small paper journal that I'm carrying around in my purse. I've used this journal before. There is an entry in it near the front for Friday May 30th, 2008. Weight: 186. BF: 37%. I remember that I was not at all happy to be weighing in the high 180s. Guess what? A year later the scale reads 206 pounds and 43% bf. Holy schnickeys! Put on 20 pounds in a year. Fortunately 208 pounds on the scale is red alert territory and I have managed to put the brakes on.
Baby steps. I will promise to do a happy dance when my weight starts with a 19 again.
Boy do I ever hate starting over. Boy do I ever wish that I would not do this to myself again. Surrender to stress, surrender to hibernating inside my house in winter. Surrender to the urge to eat junk.
I am scared though. Scared because I know even if I get down to a weight that I feel happy with I will know that the unhealthy heavy me will be forever lurking and waiting in the wings for her next opportunity to come out.
I am lucky though. I have supportive friends and a supportive husband. I can do this.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Oh Crap!
OK. It pains me to post this.
206.4
WTF?
I really hope that spring will spur me back towards healthy me. This is ridiculous.
Read a cool post over at Ben Does Life. Guy went for a 17 mile walk. Why? Well he heard a cool song. Sounds like a good reason to me. 6.5 hours later he was done. This man has been on fire since January. Very cool.
I have been going through my photos to remove duplicates and hopefully back them up the CD etc. I came across a photo of my scale from last year. It was 183.6. Stupid me was unsatisfied with that at the time. Man. If I could time travel back and slap myself I would. 183.6 is much better than 23 pounds heavier.
Anyways. There is the ugly truth. Only place to go from here is down. Well, really clearly I could go up if I don't stop this bull shit. I will not let that happen.
My current weight is pretty much my worst ever. My worst ever is about 208 something. Close enough. I don't need to get any closer.
Doesn't it suck to undo all the hard work you have done and not even know why you did it?
206.4
WTF?
I really hope that spring will spur me back towards healthy me. This is ridiculous.
Read a cool post over at Ben Does Life. Guy went for a 17 mile walk. Why? Well he heard a cool song. Sounds like a good reason to me. 6.5 hours later he was done. This man has been on fire since January. Very cool.
I have been going through my photos to remove duplicates and hopefully back them up the CD etc. I came across a photo of my scale from last year. It was 183.6. Stupid me was unsatisfied with that at the time. Man. If I could time travel back and slap myself I would. 183.6 is much better than 23 pounds heavier.
Anyways. There is the ugly truth. Only place to go from here is down. Well, really clearly I could go up if I don't stop this bull shit. I will not let that happen.
My current weight is pretty much my worst ever. My worst ever is about 208 something. Close enough. I don't need to get any closer.
Doesn't it suck to undo all the hard work you have done and not even know why you did it?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Feb. 5th Weight
Same weight as last week. (201)
Had 4 good days of eating and 3 not so good.
Seriously need groceries but did not work on Monday so have had to work Tues - Fri. and have not dragged myself to the store after work.
Getting sick. Have chest congestion with cough and now sore throat. Damn.
If I put my mind to it I could be in the 190s by next Thursday.
Had 4 good days of eating and 3 not so good.
Seriously need groceries but did not work on Monday so have had to work Tues - Fri. and have not dragged myself to the store after work.
Getting sick. Have chest congestion with cough and now sore throat. Damn.
If I put my mind to it I could be in the 190s by next Thursday.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Weigh In - January 29th
OK. I am on the healthy wagon. Eating reasonable amounts. No junk. Doing my exercise.
Last week: 203
This week: 201
BF: 41%
BMI: 30.2
Nobody get excited until I get back to the 190s.
182 is my magic number of 'new weight'. I look forward to being there again.
Last week: 203
This week: 201
BF: 41%
BMI: 30.2
Nobody get excited until I get back to the 190s.
182 is my magic number of 'new weight'. I look forward to being there again.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday
Did pretty well with my eating today.
I am pretty happy with that.
I have no real plan.
Just trying to be conscious of what I am eating.
I know a plan would help but I am stubborn at this point.
I am pretty happy with that.
I have no real plan.
Just trying to be conscious of what I am eating.
I know a plan would help but I am stubborn at this point.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday Jan 23rd, 2009
Back to 203 on Thursday. Today (Friday) as I write this I am down to 202.
I have no comment.
Will post again with next Thursday's weight.
I have no comment.
Will post again with next Thursday's weight.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A comment from Zurple
zurplemoon said...
whats stopping you from success?
<3>
Hmmm... Good question. I am trying not to think of how far I have fallen. I am uncomfortable when I sit. Truly a spare tire.
I could list various negativity that got me here but essentially nothing is stopping me from success. I will follow my exercise schedule for my big event in June. I will do my bet to eat healthy and not excessively along the way.
I am on my way. I will succeed
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Ostrich over here
Yes, I have been ostrich-ing. That is: not stepping on the scale.
When I do step on, I know it won't be pretty.
I will weigh myself on Thursday.
Today is Tuesday :)
When I do step on, I know it won't be pretty.
I will weigh myself on Thursday.
Today is Tuesday :)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Weekly Weigh In - Jan 7th, 2009
Weight: 201.6 (last week 203.4)
Body Fat: 41%
Waist: 37
Since Thursday was the first day of the year my official weigh in will be Thursdays.
Water is a tricky thing. Yesterday I weighed one pound less but then I worked all day and drank more water than I had the day before when I was at home. Today I am a pound up but I know it is not a pound of fat. That is why watching the scale daily can mess with your mind! However, I am keeping an eye on my weekly weigh in weight and that should go in the right direction.
I am not counting calories right now. Counting calories and points only frustrates me. Instead I am counting food group servings and trying to eat 8 fruits and veggies (with half being veggies) and limit grains to 6 servings and protein and dairy to 2 servings. By focusing on food group servings I feel my focus is more on eating healthy than eating to lose weight. In actuality I should lose weight by doing this but right now I am focused on making it to my triathlon in June. Weight loss will be a lucky side effect. That being said it is possible to gain weight (even 20 pounds) while training for an Ironman so I will have to be aware of what I am eating.
Body Fat: 41%
Waist: 37
Since Thursday was the first day of the year my official weigh in will be Thursdays.
Water is a tricky thing. Yesterday I weighed one pound less but then I worked all day and drank more water than I had the day before when I was at home. Today I am a pound up but I know it is not a pound of fat. That is why watching the scale daily can mess with your mind! However, I am keeping an eye on my weekly weigh in weight and that should go in the right direction.
I am not counting calories right now. Counting calories and points only frustrates me. Instead I am counting food group servings and trying to eat 8 fruits and veggies (with half being veggies) and limit grains to 6 servings and protein and dairy to 2 servings. By focusing on food group servings I feel my focus is more on eating healthy than eating to lose weight. In actuality I should lose weight by doing this but right now I am focused on making it to my triathlon in June. Weight loss will be a lucky side effect. That being said it is possible to gain weight (even 20 pounds) while training for an Ironman so I will have to be aware of what I am eating.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Wakeup Call - Jan 1, 2009
So, the month of December has been really bad. I put a video out in early December saying that I was not going to wait until January 1st to start getting healthier, eating better etc. but it turns out that is exactly what I did.
I don't want to make excuses for myself but one of the things that triggered me was my husband getting sick. Now if I was not a worrier it should not have been a big deal. He came down with Shingles on his face and then his face became paralyzed. Three weeks later his face is still paralyzed but it seems like it is not as bad as it first was but the whole thing was pretty scary. Also December was extremely cold here and I have not been running at all because of the weather. Another thing I have realized is that I have a serious problem with my emotions and PMS. This last time I went into a big depression and could not even summon the will to go to the grocery store. Maybe it was just compounded by the other stuff I don't know.
Anyways. I am not a fan of starting over but basically that is where I am at. It is hard for me to believe what the scale is saying to me actually. It is even harder for me to put it out there for all to read.
Last March I was 184 pounds and wearing a size 12 jean. Today I was 203.4 pretty much 20 pounds heavier and almost at my worst ever that I was in June of 2007. Size 16 jeans that were put away in 2007 are snug.
So there it is. There are two forks in the road here and I plan on taking the one towards a healthier me. The other one leads to diabetes and a heart attack within 20 years. Not a big choice really.
I don't want to make excuses for myself but one of the things that triggered me was my husband getting sick. Now if I was not a worrier it should not have been a big deal. He came down with Shingles on his face and then his face became paralyzed. Three weeks later his face is still paralyzed but it seems like it is not as bad as it first was but the whole thing was pretty scary. Also December was extremely cold here and I have not been running at all because of the weather. Another thing I have realized is that I have a serious problem with my emotions and PMS. This last time I went into a big depression and could not even summon the will to go to the grocery store. Maybe it was just compounded by the other stuff I don't know.
Anyways. I am not a fan of starting over but basically that is where I am at. It is hard for me to believe what the scale is saying to me actually. It is even harder for me to put it out there for all to read.
Last March I was 184 pounds and wearing a size 12 jean. Today I was 203.4 pretty much 20 pounds heavier and almost at my worst ever that I was in June of 2007. Size 16 jeans that were put away in 2007 are snug.
So there it is. There are two forks in the road here and I plan on taking the one towards a healthier me. The other one leads to diabetes and a heart attack within 20 years. Not a big choice really.
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